Hey, Foreigner....

Lem'me tell ya what love is.

Sometime during the night, our coffeepot died.
MF'in piece of shit that it was.
Black & Decker sucks.

Anyway, I needed to be up a little early, because I had the first school tour/hayride to drive this morning and I wanted to wash my hair first.

Well, Eric comes in and, boy, does he get my attention with the statement, "The coffeepot seems to be dead."

'Es-SCUSE ME?
NO COFFEE????

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*big inhale*grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr FUCK!!!!!

I so did not need need this shit, maaan.

Needless to say, I was in a state of high-pissoff. (Well, not technically "high", not then. Let's just say "totally and completely consumed by a rage blacker than midnight in Persia", okay?)

I got up, came out here nekkid, poked the buttons a few times, shot it the bird and stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.

I swear, I wanted to bite the tub or something.
I was pissed.

I stood there a second, then remembered the Diet Dew. Thank GAWD for the Diet Dew.
And... that horticultural equivalent of Valium.

Both were of invaluable assisstance to me in my time of insanity.

I got a shower and while washing my hair, entertained thoughts of having that useless piece of shit Black & Decker coffeepot squashed by the tracs of the Hugh loader.
Then...
I heard the big bass'tid running.

Well, I stepped out of the shower, hair fulla soap and grabbed the radio and asked Eric to install that piece of shit in front of or behind the loader, then, after it's been transmorgified by Hugh, to please bring me the shattered remains, that I may piss upon them.

He thought I was kidding.

No matter.
Either the loader will be mobile again today, or else me and that no good piece of shit, along with my Pusser club, will be taking a little walk, down to the trash pile.
I feel like a game of "coffeepot baseball" might just satisfy my sense of justice.

Fucker.
Leave me with no coffee....

Anyway, after I came and got two Dew's, Eric went back outside. I'd said to him "Get that hunka shit outta here, okay?" He said, "Okay", then stuck it in the trash can in the kitchen.
Now, I know he meant well, but the kitchen trash can is NOT "outta here", it's IN here, hence it's not being called the "outside" trash can. Get me?

I glanced over and saw that motherfucker sitting there and... I don't even know what to call it.
Snapped, I guess.

I strode to the bathroom, snatched up a shortie nightie and threw it on. Stormed back to the kitchen, snatched up the coffee maker part and went outside.

Now, the most amazing part to me isn't that I freaked. It's that I went outside and sidearmed that fuckin' thing over the picnic table, in the general direction of the copcar and right smack into the tree trunk I was aiming for.

I saw that I'd done that, but was so completely pissed that it didn't help much.

I came back in, saw the stupid basket sitting here and threw that in the yard, too.

Didn't throw the pot. Don't feel like fuckin' with broken glass.
I was enraged, not retarded.

After alla that is when I finally got into the shower.

I get out and, as I'm upside down, drying my hair, Eric pops in and says "Hi".

I asked if he'd gotten the fucker squashed, but he didn't, so... coffeepot baseball it is then.

So, I go back to drying the hair and he wanders off, back to the kitchen.

That's where the definition of love comes in.

He went out into the yard and retrieved the basket, took the coffee pot and somehow, without a coffeemaker, manually if you will, made me a pot of coffee.

I don't know how he did it, but it involved him on his knees, in front of the sink and dribbling the water into the basket two cups at a time.

It was even HOT.

I saw that and all I could do was grin at him.
Well, I giggled a little, too, but, y'all know what I mean.

Just wow.

Meantime, after I'd finished drying my hair, before I saw what he was doing, I heard this voice... suppose it was God, but it sounded like Tommy Chong, in Up in Smoke, when Cheech is freaking after smoking the first bomber doobage. He's trying to calm Cheech down and finally yells, "CHILL OUT, MAAAN!!!!!"

That's what I heard.
Then, also in Tommy's voice, I hear, "See how many quarters ya have, man. Bet ya have enough..."

So, I did and I do.

Then, after I discover I can go get another stupid coffeepot and Eric has somehow made a pot of hot coffee appear, off I go on the first hayride of the season.

It was GREAT.
It was also a double.
Nothing like jumping in with both feet, hey?

In fact, is was so awesomely cool, after I got done with the kids, I unhooked the wagons and went out again, by myself, joyriding on an Oliver.
If, indeed, it can be called joyriding, seeing as how I was going at a speed apace with a horse walking.
Headphones on, The Wall playing, baked, cuppa coffee by my foot... it was awesome.

Closest I've come to riding Storm since I lost him.

Speaking of which...

I've come to a coupla decisions.
First of which is, I've gotta get another horse.
One with four sound legs and a dick this time.
No more mares, no more "special cases".
This shit is getting ridiculous now.

Brandy and Action are treated the same, fed the same except she gets a little more of everything 'cause she's bigger, everything is equal for these two, yet, while Action is a fat little thing, she looks like we've been starving/abusing/trying to kill her.

Even so and even though I don't want to even ride her anymore when she's healthy again because her gaits are so horrible, I don't want to just dump her anywhere.
I want to get her back to where she was, then see if her old Mom wants her back, or the farm she came from, if not, then I'll call the guy who took Jessie.

Meantime, I just really need another horse I can really connect with. I do like Brandy, but I feel like I could be a fence post, far as she's concerned. That's not doing me, or her, a bit of good, either.

My heart is still broken over Storm, in spite of her, so she's not the right one, I know it.
Besides, she needs somebody with money... lotsa money, I think.

As for me, she's retired; disposition pending.

And, I may know where a horse is already.
It's one I looked at before.
The guy did say for me to stop back by in a few months and see what's what, so I think I'm gonna.
At least, I'm gonna drive by and see if the horses are still there.

I'm searchin'....
I'm searchin' every wee-eee-eecha way.
I'm searchin'..."

Off to obtain a coffeemaker.
And, cruise by the horse place.

Back soon.

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 03:16 PM

Comments

Posted by: Mad William Flint at August 24, 2005 09:09 PM (14L/a)

Posted by: Mad William Flint at August 24, 2005 09:30 PM (14L/a)

Posted by: Stevie at August 24, 2005 10:14 PM (mwd5F)

Posted by: Amy at August 25, 2005 11:17 AM (0ElmH)

Posted by: dee at August 25, 2005 12:02 PM (sZnML)

Posted by: Stevie at August 25, 2005 11:55 PM (0Pw+x)

Posted by: Stevie at August 25, 2005 11:59 PM (0Pw+x)

Posted by: Amy at August 26, 2005 02:03 PM (0ElmH)

Posted by: Mad William Flint at August 31, 2005 11:55 PM (14L/a)

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