Jesus...

Now I know what was wrong with me early this morning. My heart was right that I was losing something, but it wasn't Eric. As a matter of fact, he's been especially sweet ever since he got up.
What I'm losing is Gia, my horse. She's dying.
She's somewhere in the vicinity of 27 to 30 years old and it's not like I didn't know this was going to happen some day....but...
This sucks so bad I can't even credit it as being real.

The same thing happened to me the night Andy was killed. I was living in Carney's Point, then and with Tony. He was in the bedroom, watching TV and I was in the livingroom, flipping through my own channels. I stopped on a 'local messages' channel where they played soft rock in the background. The song that was playing was 'Endless Love'. When I heard it, my heart just shattered and I starting crying, bad. I felt doomed. I even went and asked Tony if he was thinking about leaving me. He said he wasn't.
Andy was killed on a Friday night. Our local paper didn't have a Saturday edition back then. Saturday night, I went to work and Sunday morning, when I went out to get the papers, is when I saw the headline about Andy. He was killed at about 9:40pm, which, yes, was about the time I heard 'Endless Love' Friday night.
I've always believed that was Andy's last message to me. It's still true, too.

"Living Inside My Heart", huh? Yeah, I guess Gia will have to do that from now on, won't she?
Poor, dear, sweet Eric is calling Doc Streams as I type.
I've never had a horse die while in my care before. This is really, really bad.
Man.
But, yeah, it did already occur to me..."Yeah, okay, God. As long as it's not Eric or my Dad, I'll try to have some grace here.."...but, my Lord, this hurts.
I'll never forget what Eric looked like on her back or how it felt to be up there myself. I'll also never forget how sweet and gentle and trusting she was. She was an old lady when I met her, but I'm glad to know that her last two years here were good ones. Just a coupla turns around a field, bareback, with a halter and a rope. For that bit of joy, she got spoiled rotten. Carrots, apples, oats, groomed, loved....not ever sold for dog food, either.
I hope she's not the last horse I ever get to love.

Goodbye, Sweet Girl.

Posted by: Stevie at 08:22 AM

Comments

1 :-(

Posted by: Mad William Flint at January 21, 2004 10:30 AM (jRssG)

2 Dear Stevie - And this just days after posting "A Dog's Prayer".You poor, sweet dear. Actually, I'm so glad you posted that for, as it happened, my wife's best friend emailed us that day and told us that her beautiful English Springer had days to live and I sent her the Prayer. I understand that it helped. Thank you, and you and Gia will be in my thoughts. Hang in there. Terry

Posted by: Terry Reynolds at January 21, 2004 12:04 PM (mkuv8)

3 Thank you, Mad Bill and Terry, I'm glad I could help. Please pass on my condolences to your wife's friend.

Posted by: Stevie at January 22, 2004 09:01 AM (b4WVs)

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