Aww, man....

One of my bunnies died. Shit.
I hate this crap. (If I misspell stuff, it's because I can't see really well right this second...I'll be okay. I think. Damn.) Anyway....
I've been taking care of him for about a year. He, Hefner, was one of the loose pet rabbits that were all over this farm last year. There were four. Two died before I could catch them and the other two, I have in here. Well, it's one now, but...
They had belonged to Bill's utterly irresponsible son Billy and he just let them go rather than actually feed and care for them. Then the assholes around here started threatening to set traps because the rabbits were eating their stupid flowers. I mean, Holy Mother of God...rabbits eat plants? Jeez...who'da thunk it? What I'd really like to know is why nobody took Billy to task for it. It was his fault, after all. But, noooo. Let's just kill the animals, instead of the useless waste of sperm, skin and air that is Billy.
So, I caught two of 'em and had to cage them, which I hated to do, but, I had to. I had been letting them have run of the house, but...bunnies poop c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y and dogs and loose rabbits don't mix...especially in the house. So...I got ahold of two huge cages and there they were. Spring, summer and fall, I had 'em outside, on a high table, under the carport. They were safe from predators and weather out there. When it gets/got ass-bitin' cold, they, along with the 'outside-cause-she-poops-in-the-house-alla-time-the-dork-dog' April, come in.
Hefner loved to sleep flat out on his side. He also adored carrots, lettuce, oats and Hugh, which is why they had to be in seperate cages. (Number one, Hugh is a boy, too and wasn't diggin the lovin' he was getting...forcibly and all. And two...Hugh is in total love with my stoner-cat, Erica. God, the way he used to follow her everywhere....before the cage. The only place she was safe from him was someplace high up, like on top of the washer. God, she got sooo pissed at him...lol. It was kinda cute, though.) Anyhow, earlier (as in about twelve hours ago or so) I noticed Hef sleepin' stretched out again and stopped and looked at him for a few, grinning at the relaxed way he was. No fear, if yer sleepin' like that...I went to sleep for a while because George was on here and when I got up, I came out here, did my shit, was hangin' out and just now, I realized that I haven't heard Hef rattlin' his water thing, getting a drink. So, I turn around and look and....he's still sleeping? Please, God, let him be asleep.
Nope.
Fuck.
Damn, I hate this shit. You'd think, with all the animals I have and have had, I be or ever get used to this, but, no. I always feel like I let 'em down, somehow. I do now, too.
It's not like he was sick or anything. He was fine and now he's dead. Well, damn. I think he was old. I'm not sure exactly how old, but, you could tell he was no baby or anything. He was fully grown and fat and pretty sedate when he got here. Not all fulla spunk and sparkle like young, energetic buns are...like Hugh is. He was an old guy from day one, so I suppose I should just be glad I got to have him this long. And, I know I kept him alive longer than he woulda been outside. And, nobody is eatin' 'im, either.
I got him outta the cage, wrapped him in a white towel, hugged him, burst into tears and gently (as if he really cares) laid him on top of his cage for now. Eric will be going out to milk in a few hours and none of the animals seem to have noticed, so....I just can't freeze him by putting him outside yet. Besides, I know where he's headed when he does go out there....it's way to frozen to be diggin' holes. So, knowing where he's gonna wind up, it seems fitting to let him stay right here, til the last second...ya know?
Why, when there are so many crappy people alive, do sweet, innocent animals hafta die?
This sucks.
Badly.

Peace.

Update @ 4:27am-Just spent 45 minutes talking to my Dad. I wanted to thank him for my X-mess present and tell him about the rabbit. He said exactly what I knew he would..."I have recipes..." I'm tellin' ya, the guy is bent-headed. Made me laugh, though. Just like when, for another Christmas present one year, he gave me a book called "101 uses for a dead cat", with illustrations and all for making dead cats into things like foot stools, door stops and irons and all kinds silly shit.
Reminds me of one of the cops I used to work with, Lt. Fisher. He always said dead cats were his favorite kind because you could fill 'em caulk really easily and then pose them differently alla time. They didn't eat or shit, so they were perfect. He was goofy. He always smelled great. Everytime I said so he'd say he just farted. I got him one time...I said "Wow, man. Can you go fart in my car a few times, then?" It's always cool to make a cop laugh til he cries.

Posted by: Stevie at 02:37 AM

Comments

1 I'm sorry to hear about your bunny, hon. {hugs}

Posted by: margi at January 18, 2004 04:39 AM (4jrV0)

2 Sorry to hear that about your bunny..

Jeff..

Posted by: Jeff at January 18, 2004 12:08 PM (5O9Qy)

3 I know how sorry I was to have to take Java back to her family after only 2 months. I'm really sorry you're missing Hef. But as you know inside, you did really well for him, and he had a nice life with you. He also got to die quietly in his sleep, which is all most of us wish for.

Be glad you had him in your life, and be proud of the care you took of him.

Feel better hon, I know it sucks.

Posted by: Light & Dark at January 18, 2004 02:30 PM (Hrm9v)

4 My condolances on your sorrow. At least he had a good life with you instead of being found by Bill or Billy. I'm sure he was happy before he passed.

Posted by: Kenna at January 19, 2004 01:34 AM (5PcdJ)

5 I'm sorry about your bunny. He had a better life because of you.

Posted by: Beth at January 19, 2004 05:51 AM (igCu1)

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