Firm Equates Increase in Gun Sales to Possible Increase In Bio-Chemical Attacks

Because those Yokel-Americans that buy firearms based upon the incoming Adminstration's hopes of reinstating failed firearms bans are also bitterly clinging to vials of Anthrax and Sarin:

BOSTON, MA, Nov 10, 2008 (MARKET WIRE via COMTEX) — "A disturbing increase in reports that gun sales are dramatically increasing now that the presidential election is over indicates that other forms of intentional mayhem such as bio-chemical assaults might also increase," said BioDefense Corporation ( http://www.biod.com), producers of the new MAIL DEFENDER complete mailroom security solution.
"Incoming mail containing white powder discovered recently at major metropolitan daily newspapers, wire services and hundreds of other offices across the country are not 'hoaxes.' Rather, they are 'bio-chemical assaults,' with obvious intent to harm, disrupt, or even kill," said a spokesperson for BioDefense Corporation.
Large corporations, major financial institutions and businesses forced to lay off employees in difficult economic times are the bio-criminal's "bull's eye." Recent media tracking shows that mentions of "anthrax" and "white powder" hoaxes in newspapers, magazines, radio, TV and online media number in the thousands every week.
"MAIL DEFENDER, already hard at work at several high-level government and financial institutions, is the first line of defense against these criminal acts," the BioDefense spokesperson added. "A simple letter mailed for 42 cents should not have the power to disrupt and stop large organizations, unfairly tie up first-responder resources, and otherwise add to today's already anxiety-ridden environment," he said.

So Boston-based Bio-Defense hopes to reduce "today's already anxiety-ridden environment," by drawing utterly unsupportable correlations between the lawful purchase of a legal and Constitutionally-protected commodity by law-abiding U.S. citizens and vague reports of terrorist acts, in order to sell a product that they—surprise, surprise—just happen to have on hand.

I'm guessing they aren't part of the condescending 52.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 05:44 PM

Comments

1 If it moves product, who cares if its correct.... speaking for them of course....

Posted by: Buffoon at November 10, 2008 06:10 PM (Mpx5f)

2 Using their same logic, since Barry Obama believes in fascist liberal ideas, Volkswagen makes the best car. Their ideas are nonsensical.

Posted by: Two Dogs at November 10, 2008 06:37 PM (/L1mn)

3 What's a little bio-chemical warfare between friends?

If I got a letter with white powder I'd probably just lick it, cause I'm curious like that.

I think I've got "48" syndrome. Apparently I'm not the only one.

~T the D
http://thedrunkelephant.blogspot.com/

Posted by: T the D at November 10, 2008 09:37 PM (Y+dgk)

4 I expect they would have reach the same conclusion if there was a sudden, unexplained increase in weed wacker sales.

Posted by: George Bruce at November 10, 2008 10:10 PM (14xK6)

5 I expect they would have reach the same conclusion if there was a sudden, unexplained increase in weed wacker sales.

That's their spring ad campaign.

Posted by: ConservativeWanderer (formerly C-C-G) at November 10, 2008 10:37 PM (PnuiE)

6 Actually, I took it to mean that it's going to be an active spring zombie season.

Seems equally reasonable to me.

Posted by: Lurking Observer at November 10, 2008 10:44 PM (aR0aQ)

7 I'll go with the Zombie outbreak scenario too. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Posted by: PA at November 11, 2008 12:52 AM (OqXyp)

8 I would think an increase in purchases of baked beans would indicate a possible increase in bio-chemical attacks....

Posted by: Patrick Chester at November 11, 2008 02:57 AM (RezbN)

9 ...or refried beans, for that matter.

Posted by: W-K-B at November 11, 2008 05:30 AM (6DvsC)

10 Great Scott! If these idiots leap to conlusions like that, I don't want them thinking about, playing with, researching, or anywhere near ANY biohazardous material. Put down the vial and slowly back away from the white powder, boys. Back to kindergarten with you!

Posted by: Stoutcat at November 11, 2008 09:22 AM (kKdtK)

11 Now here is some REAL change... the mere PURCHASE of a firearm is "intentional mayhem". And of course that is true, just ask any anti-2nd loon. It's like Frosty the Snowman with his magic hat. Once the gun is purchased (or hell, I guess manufactured) it springs to life as a malevolent imp of steel and lead kind of like a cell phone exposed to the evil radiation in Transformers.

Posted by: megapotamus at November 11, 2008 10:47 AM (LF+qW)

12 Can you kill zombies with anthrax? If so, maybe we'd better stock up....

I don't any stinkin zombies making my dog bark all night.

Posted by: Ricky at November 11, 2008 02:09 PM (Y0ai0)

13 Yeah, and maybe what they are smelling is just the oder of burning nitrates...

Posted by: emdfl at November 11, 2008 03:30 PM (N1uaO)

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