Hugs = Go To Jail
Well, you know how bad hugs are, right? You know how evil they are and how many people are injured and killed with hugs? Finally a school in Oak Park, IL has had the guts to ban those evil things. That's right, according to the government in Oak Park, if you're in a government school building and hug someone, you're in BIG trouble.
I'm so happy they've banned these things. Now if only more governments would see this progressive attitude and ban more of them. After all, I'm so offended when I see someone hugging someone else. I'm often late because I have to walk all the way around those people. And they waste so much time. See, students were late for classes because they were hugging and now that it's been banned, no one will be late any more. Isn't that wonderful? If only we had more government banning more things, utopia truly would exist here on earth.
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