Charltote Ozone Alert!

Charlotte (or some other government agency) has issued a "Code Orange Ozone Alert" for today. Various news outlets are making it very clear this is a "Code Orange Ozone Alert" day. In fact, many highway emergency signs are being used to slow traffic spread the word as well. Unfortunately, few people understand this "Ozone Alert" system. Therefore, I shall provide you a guide for the Charlotte Ozone Alert System:

Code Green: It will be sort of hot today. You should ride the bus today because if you don't a polar bear will die. And every time a polar bear dies, a Democrat raises taxes -- sometimes to pay for a train.

Code Yellow: It will be hot today. You should ride the bus today because cars are evil. You will need to pay more taxes to build a train in Charlotte today.

Code Orange: It will be hot today. You should ride the bus today and not cut your lawn (even if the city will fine you for either cutting your lawn on an orange ozone day or fine you for letting your grass grow too long). You should support the new higher taxes to build a train in Charlotte.

Code Red: It will be hot today. You should ride the bus today because if you do, you will save the world from Chinese-made global warming (somehow). You should eat out in Charlotte to pay more taxes to support building a train in Charlotte.

Code Plaid: It will be hot today. You should ride the bus today while you can get a good seat because government will soon outlaw the evil internal combustion engine to save the rainforests and some uninhabited island in the south pacific. You should rejoice that there will soon be a train in Charlotte (even if you can't ride it because it doesn't go where you live or where you work).

Please pay attention to all ozone coded alerts because they could save your life (from government sending you to prison for failure to obey them).

Posted by: Ogre at 11:28 AM

Comments

1 Ha, I am actually from Charlotte and me and my friend were just discussing we didn't know what the stupid codes mean.

I am actually a libertarian, just started a blog about a week ago. www.jcardsworld.blogspot.com

It would be nice to get some comments from someone who's opinions are similar to mine.

Posted by: Jcard at June 19, 2007 05:12 PM (ZXRnW)

2 Hey, thanks so much for stopping by, I'm glad you found my home here! Now you know what the codes are, I hope you follow them.

And you're not allowed to be a libertarian in Charlotte, that's against the law. Don't believe me, just ask the libertarian candidate for mayor last time who was refunded his registration fee and was NOT allowed to run at all!

Posted by: Ogre at June 19, 2007 05:58 PM (oifEm)

3 Very good site. Thanks:-)

Posted by: visa credit card at August 08, 2007 01:09 PM (AnU3F)






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