Quick, Ban Fires!
Since two children in Florida started a fire that has burned more than 1,500 acres, the ONLY logical solution is to ban fires. We need an investigation to determine how those kids got access to fire. We need to register all fires. We need to make it a crime to leave matches or lighters where children can reach them. We must make child-proof safety locks on all matches to ensure that children cannot use them. We should pass laws banning the possession of fire by anyone under the age of 21. We need to ensure only federally licensed dealers (who pay large fees) are permitted to sell matches. We need to ban large-capacity matchbooks -- for the children, of course.
While this may seem silly, it is just as silly as all the above arguments when applied to firearms. Seems to me like fire is a whole lot more dangerous than firearms if two kids can destroy 1,500 acres...
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