Fat Car Seats

Great. In case you missed the news, apparently American children are now too fat for car seats. The news article claims that "most" of a quarter of a million overweight 1-6 year olds are overweight -- almost 5% of 3-year olds.

Tell me again about how our economy is so suffering that we have so many kids eating so much food and being so sedentary that they're overweight? In another government report, supposedly 23% of children age 2-5 were "overweight." To combat the fatness and laziness of today's children, car seat manufacturers are creating new car seats "to accommodate" the fatties. I just wonder how these will be marketed:

Safeguard Doublewides: for the chunky child

How about
Bretax Child Seats: Now in size F, VF, and Super-F

or maybe
Safety Enormo-Seats: Now Fits children up to 220 lbs!

And the top of the line:
Eddie Bauer Leather XXXL Car Seat: 2 entire cows used to ensure enough leather to line the entire seat!

Feel free to add your own...

Posted by: Ogre at 06:03 PM

Comments

1 ROTF....Now Ogre...this means an entire new government entity to oversee the soon to come oversight dept of Larger Sized Car Seats.

The seats will have to withstand heat tests.
And weight tests.
And water tests.
LOL

Posted by: Raven at April 04, 2006 08:22 PM (RGNwu)

2 I just want to know were these overweight people are. I guess I just am in the wrong place since I never see all these fat people and not to mention the enormous number of kids out there.

Posted by: Arbitratorofall at April 04, 2006 09:26 PM (5+Jvh)

3 Ya' don't have to be prosperin' to get fat or have fat kids. There's plenty of welfare mamas out there who manage to do it on food stamps.

Posted by: Harrison at April 04, 2006 10:28 PM (BcXq0)

4 What about those tall kids or the really short ones? How about skinny kids?

Posted by: vw bug at April 04, 2006 10:44 PM (3cg+5)

5 Or the kids who climb on rocks?

Personally, I think the proper car seat for an overly supersized kid, is the Mini Cooper.

Posted by: McGehee at April 05, 2006 12:55 AM (lAOTn)

6 I've had to get a Portly-Portable Seat for my own kid. He's only 11 months old, and yet he's so big, we've had to rearrange the seats in our van so that we can fit his godfather-like girth into the childseat. I recently found a horse head in my bed. We're not off to a good start.

Posted by: Stevin at April 05, 2006 03:22 AM (LfL8N)

7 What? No other ideas for marketing seats to the obese?

And hey, McGehee, I resemble that remark!

Thanks for stopping by, everyone.

Posted by: Ogre at April 05, 2006 10:32 AM (2eMZT)

8 What about a "Cartman Carrier, safety seats for your little boobie?"

Posted by: kender at April 05, 2006 12:54 PM (AURSt)

9 You mean your "giant little boobie?"

Posted by: Ogre at April 05, 2006 01:01 PM (/k+l4)

10 No child from 2-5 is lazy. It's the parents who need to be kicked in the teeth.

(*)>

Posted by: birdwoman at April 06, 2006 12:13 AM (Sc2Wh)

11 Wow. My 11 year old still qualifies for a carseat, via weight. Of course we don't, but still. I just don't identify.

Posted by: Bou at April 06, 2006 11:38 AM (iHxT3)

12 When I say, "lazy," I mean the ones who sit in front of the TV and Computer all day. Yes, it's the parents who should toss them outside, but still, the children ARE learning how to be lazy.

And Bou, I think my 20+ year old sister weighs less than some of these children...

Posted by: Ogre at April 06, 2006 11:41 AM (/k+l4)






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