Democrat Code of Conduct
Well, The Alliance happened to notice that the Democrats, as a plan to supposedly help them get elected, have decided to create a code of conduct. And the Alliance, being what it is, was wondering what this might be.
So, being the good AllianceRule 1: No Poofters!
Rule 2: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching.
Rule 3: No, no, no, that's not it. Wrong paper, sorry about that. When alGore invented the internet, it seems he didn't make it work just right. There's another list that I was posting here, now where is it...oh, here it is. Here is the information typed in a memo, to be distributed to all federal Democrat Party Candidates:
Members of our esteemed party, we need to remember a few things as this election season approaches. We are facing a difficult battle against the evil that is Republicans, so remember this: Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise....
*smack* Once again, sorry about that. Our "crack" staff seems to be on crack today. After sorting through the empty pizza boxes and beer cans, it does seem they really did find something useful, but with the grease stains from the pizza and the beer spillage (I think that's beer), we simply cannot read the memo. We're going to wait until the crack-staff wakes up and we'll send them back out tomorrow to check for more information...
Comments
1
Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
ARTHUR: How does it, um-- how does it work?
LAUNCELOT: I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments!
BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, verses Nine to Twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD: Amen.
Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
ARTHUR: How does it, um-- how does it work?
LAUNCELOT: I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments!
BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, verses Nine to Twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD: Amen.
Posted by: Tomslick at January 25, 2006 06:30 PM (xNjHI)
Posted by: Ogre at January 25, 2006 08:05 PM (/k+l4)
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