When Guns Attack!

Andrew Marra, writer at the Palm Beach Post is reporting that guns are traveling throughout the community, attacking people at will! Beware, people, guns are attacking people!

Fed-up Riviera Beach leaders, troubled by a recent spurt of assault-rifle attacks that left an innocent bystander dead last week

I have seen no pictures of these violent guns attacking people. There is no word on where these evil chunks of metal are based. It is apparently not currently known what sort of evil is causing these usually inanimate objects to shoot. There is also no word on how these things are moving about, since I've never seen any with legs or other mechanical parts for movement.

But that's ok, because the city officials have a plan. They can solve this problem of weapons assaulting people. Are you ready? Pay attention people, for if guns ever jump up and start attacking you, this may be the solution you need to save your life:

"We think we ought to be able to say we don't want handguns in this community," City Manager William Wilkins said.

Why are people this stupid allowed to breed?

Posted by: Ogre at 03:05 PM

Comments

1 They wouldn't know an assault-rifle from a handgun if they were side by side under pretty glass. Arghhh! Really, they tick me off!

Posted by: oddybobo at January 09, 2006 03:34 PM (6Gm0j)

2 And they live near me. I'm willing to bet they are the ones that don't know how to drive either and cause everyone else to wreck but themselves. Sigh. I must find a way out of Florida... the problem is... where to go?

Posted by: vw bug at January 09, 2006 03:56 PM (UA4mV)

3 I'm pretty sure, Oddy, they'd identify a handgun as an "assault" weapon if they got a chance.

And VW -- my only suggestion is New Hampshire ( www.freestateproject.org ) and yes, I know it's cold there, but still...

Posted by: Ogre at January 09, 2006 08:07 PM (/k+l4)

4 There's been a rash of rampaging pencils lately! Misspelled words are running rampant!

Posted by: DagneyT at January 09, 2006 09:51 PM (X0xxg)

5 Ban 'em! Ban those evil misspelling pencils!!

Posted by: Ogre at January 09, 2006 10:30 PM (s2+Ck)

6 Damn...NONE of you get it, do you?

The answer is simple....if an assault rifle attacks, you simply state that you don't want handguns in your community, and the assault rifle, which was, most likely, only attacking you BECAUSE it thought you SUPPORTED handguns in the community, will suddenly stop attacking you and take you out for some coffee instead.

Posted by: kender at January 10, 2006 09:11 AM (udbQA)

7 I wonder if the assault rifles were only attacking handguns, and that's why they want to ban them.

Posted by: Ogre at January 10, 2006 10:49 AM (s2+Ck)

8 VW, come to TX, we can drive (albeit too fast), except on ice, and EVERYONE is armed so those pesky assault rifles don't come to our homes.

And remember, "Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat" - courtesy of a bumper sticker I saw at Cheaper Than Dirt.

Posted by: Smokey at January 11, 2006 05:06 AM (K7uqT)

9 "Spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat" -- ROFL!

Posted by: Ogre at January 11, 2006 10:52 AM (+Gl1m)

10 I thought you might like that one, and even better, I can still get that bumper sticker for about $2 or so, if you want it.....

Posted by: Smokey at January 11, 2006 11:17 PM (K7uqT)

11 I'm going to look for it at my next Evil Gun Show (TM).

Posted by: Ogre at January 11, 2006 11:27 PM (+Gl1m)






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