September 19, 2005
Remedial Civics 101
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:56 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 17, 2005
Alcohol Quotes
Wingless Angel sent me these....now if he'd only send me a fifth of Jack or Couvasier, I could test Clavin's Buffalo Theory....
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drinkI feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not."
~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants
us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,
of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the
Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo
can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones
at the back that are killed first This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the
human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:09 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
TACKY
The Wall Street Week in Review show has a feature they term the "Tony" and "Tacky" of the week wherin the telejournalists put up their pick of what was best and worst in the past week. I thought I might try my hand at this, and my first effort is one huge TACKY on the part of the German SPD Party.
I found this via Davids Medienkritik:"We didn't think German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder's SPD (or any other major Germany political party) would fall this low during the election campaign. We have learned that one of Gerhard Schroeder's senior ministers and a top SPD man in eastern Germany, Rolf Schwanitz, is using the following poster in an attempt to win votes":
SPD Campaign Poster, caption reads: "She (Merkel) Would Have Sent Soldiers" As David says:"This is truly sick. How could anyone exploit the images of fallen American soldiers in flag-draped coffins for political gain. Haven't those soldiers earned the right not to be exploited by some European politician?" I have to say that while I'm repulsed by this, I have to admit that our own Left has sunk to almost the same low state, when you consider the credence they give to such as "Mother" Sheehan; if we allow our own to get away unopposed, can we really be surprised when a foreign polititian thinks it is fair game? Yes, I know that the storm against "Mother" is pretty intense in the blogosphere, but how much of that opposition is ever demonstrated in the MSM? This is part and parcel of what the Left just "doesn't get" when we on the center right contend that you can't "support the troops" and loudly bash Bush on the war at the same time without providing aid and comfort to the enemy, inevitably, that (at least perceived) aid is evident even to those that are nominally our allies. Too bad it never comes to recognition by those that foment it.
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:14 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 16, 2005
Rednecks
You know, the second most used term of derision used by "progressives" towards "Conservatives is "Redneck" (close second to "Nazi").
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflectivelook at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and
God. Ya'll know who ya' are...
You might be a Redneck if:
1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the
phrase, "One nation, under God."
2. You've never protested about seeing the 10
Commandments posted in public places.
3. You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
4. You remove your hat and bow your head when anyone prays.
5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play our
National Anthem. 6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
7. You've never burned an American flag, but would kick someone's A_ _
that did.
8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter
who is listening.
9. You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend. Yep, sounds like the kind of people I would like to be associated with!
If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd
choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up.
Tire irons, squirrel guns, and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of.
I hope I am one of those.
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:17 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Random Observations
I seem to be feeling somewhat better today, the headaches have diminished to mere dull throbs, and the spinning has reduced to a mere one revoulution per minute. Still don't feel up to really posting today though.
I thought that I'd see what was going on in the hood and post a pic or two...I have told you that I live in a really tough neighborhood, haven't I? We don't feed the squirrels around here, we just try to keep an eye on our smokes when their around.
They're always reaching out to take anything they can get their grubby little paws on.
Yeah, we have gangsta squirrels...hell, even the cats are afraid of them. One of the cats was in heat last year and got out and was accosted by a group of squirrels....leading to a strange synthesis:
Her mate was understandably upset and took matters into his own hands
He managed to clear out a large group of them before his thirst for vengence was slaked.
He was so tuckered out after his mayhem, he OD'd on catnip flavored Kibble.
Unfortunately for him, the squirrels had a photographer as an eyewitness.
And the minions of Homeland Security were soon at the door.He roused enough to try to make a run for it, but he got caught at the back door.
The last time I saw him he was on his way to serve a life sentence for Rodent Terrorism. Guess the Polititians take care of their own genus...
You KNOW how ill I must be if I've resorted to cat blogging....I'm going back to bed. In a way it's kinda of fun to have a rotating bed, might as well try to enjoy the sensation, since there's nothing I can do but ride it out anyway.
UPDATE:I KNEW poor Fluffy just wasn't cut out for prison life...seems he got shanked by a member of the Squirrel Liberation Front. The guard first on the scene tried to sustain him with mouth to mouth support, but alas, it was the end of Fluffy's ninth life..
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:43 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Crook Returns
Michael Crook, that UBER-Scum of the earth, is back at it.
His new site is called Oppose the Troops, and it's even more virulent than his old site. "Mr". Crook's contention is that the Military as a whole, and at the individual level, consists of nothing but leeches living high off the hog on our tax dollars. He furthur contends that the concept of an organized Military structure in itself is untenable in a free society and that we would be better served by an "everyman for himself" structure of defense. Seems that Mr. Crook is unaware of history, or just what the average person gives up in joining the Military in terms of earning potential. He decries that Service personnell are given housing, medical treatment, and salaries, and WORST of all, they receive a pension after having served their country for a minimum of 20 years! All on the "Public's dime". THE HORROR! He attempts to show that money is the prime motivator in inducing young men and woman into military service...after all, they receive a base salary of $22,525.20 a year, after having reached the rank of E-5, with more than two years on the job. Sounds like a great deal of money doesn't it? He doesn't take into cinsideration that it would take the average soldier almost 9 years to attain that rank, and that a civilian position that encompasses anywhere near the same amount of responsibility would pay at least twice that amount. YES there are the factors that housing and food are included "free" (assuming a single person living in base housing), but consider this, that "free housing" consists for a large part of sharing one large room with four to six other men, or at BEST one small room with one other man, and the food consists of a school cafeteria style service, where your choices are limited to what is being served for that meal. AND you are not allowed to leave a prescribed area without permission and instant contact means with your superiors. How many civilians work, or WOULD work, under such restrictions? Not to mention that even your personal life is bound by rules and regulations that no civilian company could impose on their workforce.....how would YOU like to be faced with possible loss in pay,loss of rank, and even incarceration because YOU happened to stay out on the lounger in the backyard too long and had received a bad sunburn? Outrageous? It CAN happen in the Military, and I speak from personal experience. When you sign on that dotted line, not even your own body ,strictly speaking, belongs to you. Where do you make that type of sacrifice in the civilian world? The closest thing would be the "physical ability to preform" clauses in a pro-athlete's contract....care to compare their pay rates to the military's? If you factor in the amount of experience/education that a soldier requires to effectively do his job in the new high-tech Service; and the amount of responsibility that that soldier is expected to assume, the pay is not even a half fraction of what he could obtain under the same circumstances in the civilian world. I think we should respond as we did on the last occasion of this perverted moron's last surfacing in the public forum; loud derision and pointing out to his service providers that his rhetoric exceeds the bounds of legitimate public discourse and falls into the area of hate-mongoring and sedition.Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:35 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Light Posting
Sorry about the light posting yesterday, but I seem to have fallen under the sway of some sort of virus. Went to bed early and didn't get up untill 7:30 PM, and then just to get a drink of water.
Really weird symptoms....had a cluster headache pounding in the center of my head and everything seemed to be revolving around it; the room was spinning as if I'd gone on a super bender. My temperture was rising and falling like a seesaw, and yet, I felt the opposite, freezing with a high temp and sweating hot when it droppped. Thirsty as hell, but just the thought of drinking anything was enough to send me racing to embrace the porceline goddess. Got Chris to make me some oatmeal, and I managed to keep it down, so I'm sure I'm on the tail end of whatever this is. See you guys later, I'm going back to bed and hope the spinning stops soon.Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:45 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 14, 2005
Bill of NON Rights
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA....
" We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and others." "We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confusedby the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights." ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure. ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were
confused by the Bill of Rights. ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (lastly...) ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:50 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
MAN OF THE HOUSE. . . . .
A man had just finished reading the book "Man Of The
House" while making his train commute home from work.
and walked directly up to hiswife, pointing his finger in her face,
he said, "From now on I want you to know that I am the man of this house
and my word is law! You are to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,
and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me
and comb my hair?"
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
"The Funeral Director would be my guess," said his wife.
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:19 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Conservative = Nazi?
Right Wing Rocker (it's blogspot...so you'll have to scroll to "the 25 points,Wed, Sept 14)has taken on the task of comparing the stated party platform of the Nazi Party (comprised of 25 main points) and compared it to both the general Liberal and Conservative positions.
You might want to put this one in your personal files the next time a Liberal accuses you of being a Nazi. Here's his general conclusion: "American liberal philosophy matches 17 out of the 25 Points of the Nazi platform. American conservative philosophy matches only 3. Two of these were "double-matches", where both sides would have agreed with the Nazis. There were seven points that were so loony even the Donks wouldn't have agreed."(emp. mine) He makes no accusations, nor do I...but if it waddles like a duck, quacks like a duck, and swims like a duck, might there be some justification in calling it a duck? I'm positive that there is not a Liberal out there that would consider themselves as being Nazi-like, but they fail to consider the natural ramifications of the policies that they espouse, and when the end results are the same, the conclusion, logically speaking, is obvious. A dung heap by any other name will still smell as foul.Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:46 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 13, 2005
"Splash" Kennedy Volunteers!
Senator Kennedy Offers to Plug at Least One Big Hole in the New Orleans Levee 
Kennedy has arranged to have the Air Force transport him by helicopter and lower him into the easternmost breach in the levee. The hope is that the senator's doughy frame will be pliable enough to conform to the hole's dimensions and halt or, at least slow, the flow of water from the lake into the city. President Bush praised Senator Kennedy's decision. "I think it's mighty big of him to offer so much for the good of the country," said Bush. "There aren't many who could fill such a large role in this disaster." Not everyone favors restoring the levee. Both Disney and Turner Communications expressed interest in turning New Orleans into a giant theme park. Disney has drawn up preliminary plans for an attraction it has tentatively labeled "Disaster Land." Tourists could purchase helicopter rides to view the carnage, loot stores and fish souvenirs out of the muck. Turner plans similar tourist activities, but calls its attraction "Underwater World." Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco is reportedly considering these proposals. In other news, Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro has also offered aid. "The Cuban people know how to build boats out of any scrap material," said Castro. "There are already more than a million volunteers . H/T to Wingless Angel
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:25 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
A little military humor..
This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio(NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: 'We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm." INTERVIEWER: " But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?" The radio went silent and the interview ended!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire - isn't. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Suppressive fires - won't. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. & when you're not. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. The easy way is always mined. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. Incoming fire has the right of way. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. If the enemy is within range, so are you. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. Tracers work both ways. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Diagnosis
"You've got a touch of pneumonia," said the medical officer after examining the new enlistee. "Are you sure, sir?" queried one worried man. "I have known people in civvy street to be told they have pneumonia but then to die of something quite different." "You are not in civil life, Samson. You're in the Army!" thundered the medical officer. "And if you get treated in the Army for pneumonia, you die of pneumonia."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Canada Aids the US Against Iraq
It was announced today that Canada is now prepared to help the United States in its war against terrorism. They have promised to commit 2 of their largest battleships, 6,000 armed troops, and 60 fighter jets. However, after the exchange rate, that comes down to a canoe, 2 Mounties, and a flying squirrel. #################################################
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:44 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
10 Reasons to be Dutch
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer. 3. You can legally kill yourself 4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you. 5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital..... 6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition. 7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country 8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours. 9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans. 10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:22 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 12, 2005
Some Adult Humor
Everyone hates a show-off...My Nephew sent me this, and yes, as with all males I might have felt a very slight touch of envy...If I were prone to such....
It's adult, so I put it beneath the fold.Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:43 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Terror, Attitudes, and Play
Oh, how our attitudes on Terrorism have changed!
"Daddy,I want to join the TSA when I grow up!"
We've begun to be a childish society....we can't even have a fire extinguisher LOOK like a fire extinguisher any more:
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
Pass the Meat, dear.
Holy Frankenmeat Batman! Seems that researchers believe it may soon be possible to "grow" meat products indistinguishable in taste and texture from the "natural" thing on a commercial scale within the next ten to twenty years.
I grew up with the "soymeat factories" of science fiction, so the idea isn't that outlandish to me. The fact that it is "real" MEAT rather than a plant protien flavored to resemble meat makes it all the more palatable to me. I'm a huge carnivore type eater, so this comes as good news to me. I don't know if it will be the same as "chewing off the bone", but then, we all have to make some sacrifices in the interest of "Mother Gaia", don't we? One thing I find amusing is that it would remove one of the main objections of the vegatarians, we would no longer be "inhumanely exploiting" our fellow creatures. And with the manipulation of the types of fatty acids produced being possible in "frankenmeat", it would make it actually make meat a lot healthier to consume, not to mention the vast reduction in agricultural pollution that could be gained.It even helps in the goal of reducing oil consumption. Sounds like a winner of an idea all around;now if they can just solve that problem of the caveman in us liking the experience of gnawing the meat off of a well cooked rib or chicken leg bone......
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:35 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
A New School Prayer...
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now. Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense, it's the freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise,
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the State. We're allowed to cuss & dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues & cheeks.
They've outlawed guns; but FIRST the Bible
To quote the Good Book makes me liable. We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the unwed daddy, our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong. We can get our condoms, & birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires & totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No Word of God must reach this crowd. It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot, My soul please take. Author Unknown
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:11 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
FACELIFT
From Wingless Angel, comes this gem:
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug
store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to
get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The
clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting
next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my
eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure
way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it
requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and
only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the
best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel
around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each
breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts,
removes his hands, and says. " Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?' The old man replies, "promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's". ------------------------------------------------------------- Love it when readers contribute to the mix!
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:42 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
September 11, 2005
NEVER FORGET!!
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
DNC Briefing
While perusing the posts at His Most Viciousness, Emperor Darth Misha 1, I realized in reading the comments that one of the Loyal Citizens of the Empire had managed to abscond with some notes from the DNC BashBush Spin Council™. (if Sandy Berger can do it so can we!)
I thought that they deserved to be broadcast to a wider audience, so I
).
Take it away Rev. Mike!
CONFIDENTIAL(Let’s keep this just between us) It is now just ten days since Katrina struck the Gulf coast. Untold thousands of the poor and downtrodden members of society died in this catastrophe while hundreds of thousands more languish in temporary shelters across this nation. But all ready something ugly and vile is threatening our ability to capitalize on this human tragedy.
Recently it has become apparent to me that certain rogue elements in the mainstream media, as well as cable news and Internet Bloggers are determined to derail our righteous efforts to destroy the Bush Administration by deliberately and recklessly reporting the facts.
I cannot stress this enough; we cannot, we must not, we will not allow the facts to get between us and what we know to our very core, is right.
Here is what I see as some of our biggest hurdles and some solutions: 1.Lt. General Honore. This charismatic and capable African-American must be discredited immediately! This Race-traitor’s continued and fervent defense of the Federal response must not be allowed to continue. He must quickly and effectively be painted with the same brush we have used on Condaloser Rice and Collin (clever epithet not currently available) Powell. I recommend we put Al and Jesse on this ASAP. 2.We must, with all due haste, ratchet up our Rhetoric and disinformation machine. Remember, a half-truth in our favor is morally superior to the actual truth if it favors or enemies. Example: The USS Bataan, a Navy hospital ship, to this day sits off the coast of New Orleans with hundreds of empty hospital beds! It in no way helps our cause to mention that the reason for this is that as early as last Tuesday the Medical personnel were move into the city where they could do the most good. 3.A Total lie in our favor is also morally superior to a truth that benefits our enemies. Example: Randall Robinson posted an article in The Huffington Post in which he stated that it had been reported that “ black survivors had begun eating corpses to survive”. The ONLY thing Randal did wrong was to post this morally superior article a mere four days after the tragedy. Had he waited, he may not have had to retract it. Which brings me to my final and most important point. 4.Race, race, race, race, race! This is our strongest and most easily defensible weapon. Remember, Racism never has to be proved, only alleged. Kudos to Kanye, Diddy, Jayzee, Al, Jesse, and all the rest. Now is not the time to rest on our laurels. As more and more facts come to light we need to fight back and hammer those racist bastards mercilessly. If the artificially maintained racial divide in this country is ever healed we are completely screwed as a movement. Well that’s a start folks. Its time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. Obfuscation and misrepresentation are not easy tasks, but it beats having to actually be right, and they are our best weapon against the racist, warmongering, puppy killing, Nazi Right. Peace Now to all those good folks out there; compare the above with whats being broadcast on the public airwaves.......(How DID one of ours infiltrate the DNC?!?)
Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:38 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)
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