Rocket Jones

August 25, 2005

Pole Dancing Followup

After my "stripper music" post, Michele points to a wonderful collection of videos that teach various forms of sensual dance. One, The Art of Exotic Dancing Core Moves, is described thusly:

Exotic dancing is much more than "dancing sexy", it is learning how to reach deep within yourself, find your own inner beauty and grace, and combine it into a sensual movement. Through Exotic Dancing, you will learn how to fully empower yourself, connect with others, boost your self-confidence and self-esteem, become a role model, attract people to you, overcome your fears of self expression, let down your guard, and discover new ways to spice up your relationships.

That's what the women get out of it. Us guys just like tits and hope we'll get laid.

Posted by: Ted at 04:24 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 24, 2005

All Your Death Star Are Belong To Us

What a hoot! Screen captures of Revenge of the Sith, subtitled in English from the original Chinese translation.

Via Right Hand of God, via Susie.

Posted by: Ted at 07:00 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

It's a quadruple play!!!

Of complete ass-hattery, that is. We have four, count 'em, four, fools from the world of sports who should just STFU. Of course, they have the right to an opinion, but the only difference between them and the loudmouth at the end of the bar is that nobody is sticking a microphone in the lush's face.

Leading off is columnist Tim Dahlberg, who has spent this entire season ripping on Barry Bonds for not playing. Of course, three knee surgeries and rehab are no excuse to this hack, he's got his schtick (Bash Bonds) and he's beating the dead horse as hard and as often as he can. If you follow the link, make sure you catch all of his oh-so-subtle steroid references. This fool hates baseball, pure and simple. It would be nice if he quit writing about it.

Up second, Milton Bradley of the Los Angeles Dodgers proves that the anger management counselling he received last year worked well. He never once raised his voice as he ripped into teammate Jeff Kent, calling him a racist. Personally, I think that his voice was muffled since his head was up his ass. Jeff Kent is not an easy guy to get along with, but to play the race card is just low and stupid.

Kent had the perfect response, "Ask Dusty Baker if I'm racist, Ask Dave Winfield and Joe Carter."

Bradley's problem is that he was promised by management that he would be the leader of the team, and he believes that all you need to do to be a leader is to be told that it's the way it will be. When Kent jumped him about not hustling during one baserunning play, Bradley fires back and displays his mad leadership skills. I'd call him a Dodger jackass, but that would be redundant.

And I didn't make a single board game joke.

And then there's Frank Robinson. I have a lot of respect for the man, which is why I choose to believe that reporters caught him at a bad time, like maybe he'd just finished snorting cocaine from a DC hooker's bellybutton.

I'd say "batting cleanup", but I'd rather use the bat on the skull of the director of the Tour de France. After yet another smear attack on Armstrong by the French newspaper L'Equipe (who do so regularly), Jean-Marie Leblanc has come out firmly on the side of science scientology. The newspaper printed copies of paperwork they claim proves that six year old urine samples belonged to the American cyclist.

Six year old urine sample? I guess the only question I have about the "proven scientific facts" is, tastes great or less filling?

He owes explanations to us and to everyone who follows the tour.

No, he owes you nothing. Armstrong has been repeatedly tested throughout his career and has never had anything but clean results. Now that he's retired and out of the country, French courage roars forth for one last cheap shot. It's telling that the other leading professional cyclists are all coming out in support of Lance Armstrong.

And until another American LeMond or Armstrong comes along to dominate, the Tour de France will drop back to the level of popularity enjoyed by Iron Man triathalons and Arena Football.

I suppose I should wrap this up somehow... ok, I've got it.

pftftftftftft!

Posted by: Ted at 06:44 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I told you podcasting was cool

Via the Hockey Pundits (original link missing):

A large number of fans in the southern and western US hail from colder climes. Many, surprisingly, are even Canadian. I, for one, grew up a Boston Bruins fan, but over the years, I couldn't find any Bruins coverage after I moved away, and so I'm limited to what ESPN gives me in the morning. But what if there were a daily podcast of, say, five to ten minutes, for each home team? Many of these shows could be hosted by Comcast's regional sports network personalities -- who, naturally, would have access to the players themselves via the OLN deal. And finding podcasters to cover each of the Canadian teams would be like trying to find a cat who likes to watch mice. These are low-cost activities that would bring real fans in, wherever they may live. Fans who buy tickets, gear, and Internet access.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Modern Maturity

Gwen Stefani needs to get over herself.

Posted by: Ted at 05:04 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 23, 2005

Goodbye to Music Pioneer Robert Moog

He revolutionized electronic music. Rob over at Left & Right has more.

Posted by: Ted at 08:05 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Letter to Terrell Owens

Every day that nitwit stays with the Eagles, I thank the stars that he's not with the Ravens. Don't miss this hilarious letter from his biggest fan. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 06:44 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

We interupt this unscheduled outage in order to bring you blogging

What the hell happened?

Posted by: Ted at 05:30 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Zing!

Spoons fires off a good one!

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Carnival of the Recipes

And so begins its second mouth-watering year. Thanks Beth, for the original idea!

Posted by: Ted at 04:53 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Showing up in unexpected places

Paul, of the defunct Sanity's-Edge, is back and blogging over at Id's Cage.

Yay!

Posted by: Ted at 04:32 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 22, 2005

Because when you think "Stripper Music", you think Rocket Jones

I'm proud of this place.

I enjoy finding interesting and funny things to share with y'all, and I really appreciate the fact that you keep coming back. Not only that, but many of you still talk to me. That kinda amazes me sometimes.

"This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good.
Yeah, still good."
-- Stitch

Besides the regulars, I get hits from people searching the web for things. Besides the usual odd and downright perverse stuff (we all get 'em), I get visitors quite often looking for things like "build a rubber band gun" and "model rocket plans". I still get comments almost every week on the Box Hockey posts, Rob's Favorite Guitarists of All Time list, and Nog Watch.

Like I said, I'm proud of all of this. But when I'm talking to someone about Rocket Jones and want to toss out one datum with maximum wow power, well, there's really only one choice.

If you google "stripper music", Rocket Jones comes up #1 on the list.

"I am a professional pole dancer and private dance teacher in Japan. Thanks for your ideas."
-- Sandy

Yeah, I brag about that often. I know you've heard it before, but dammit, it means something to me! Lots of blogs boast about how if you google "goat oreo rubber pants" then they come up at the top of the search results.

Bee Effen Dee.

"Stripper music" isn't some random pairing of words with a tenuous connection to my place, this is where actual DJ's and ladies of the dance come to check out the latest tunes and to leave their own suggestions. It's also become a popular target for women looking for pole dancing lessons. And up until now, all I could do was offer generic advice about where to look in their local areas, and to wish them luck.

Until now.

This first link, A Pole Lot of Fun, looks to be a 'party' style setup, similar to the way Tupperware used to work.

We bring the pole, you bring the friends and together we create a magical night of fun, laughter, and support.

Follow that link and see if there's someone local to you. Ladies, do it for yourself if not for your guy. Guys, grow some romantic initiative and set it up for her (and don't forget a dozen roses so she doesn't think you got her hooker lessons, you insensitive bastards).

This link, PoleStars, is based in the UK and Australia. It looks like this is more of the traditional (if I may use that word) class instruction on the art of pole dancing and strip tease.

Both sites offer equipment and clothing too. And remember ladies, it's exercise!

Posted by: Ted at 08:00 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Congrats!

Rich got his Level 1 Rocketry Certification on Saturday.

That means two things:

1. He can fly high power rockets now (H and I motors).
2. His wallet is gonna be empty.

Posted by: Ted at 11:34 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

More Geographical Coolness via the Internet

Thanks to the Maximum Leader for pointing this one out!

The world is crisscrossed by our navigational coordinates, latitude and longitude.

A confluence is defined as a flowing together; a meeting place (often of rivers). In our case a degree confluence is the exact spot where an integer degree of latitude and an integer degree of longitude meet.

Every person on earth lives within 50 miles of a degree confluence, and the world is dotted by 64,442 of these. Someone had the brilliant idea to have people visit each one and take a photograph, to be collected into one place and shared. Proof of visit is supplied by snapping a screen shot of a handheld GPS unit on the spot (or within a reasonable distance in some cases).

Of course, many are in the middle of the ocean, or located on the ice packs up where Santa lives (and his Summer home down South). So if someone visits one of those, it's great, but they're concentrating on the land-based confluences.

Maybe one is near you?

Posted by: Ted at 11:17 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Events Conspired

We never did get to the rocket launch on Saturday. I'd started feeling ill Friday morning, and had to leave early to take Rachael to the doctor for her pre-admission checkup. She hadn't been feeling all that great, and on the way home she urped. So between both of us feeling less than wonderful, her working both days, all the packing to get done (oldest daughter Robyn and her boyfriend each took a carload down to ODU), plus the hot, oppressive, humid weather, well, we took a pass on standing out in the sun all day (fun as that may be).

Liz takes Rachael to her campus on Thursday. Robyn continues to move her stuff all week. Busy little bees, we are.

Posted by: Ted at 05:54 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 19, 2005

Welcome Home

Better than a year and a half ago, Ross left for Iraq. He's home again, and his blog still sucks. Drop by anyways to welcome him back and thank him for his service.

Posted by: Ted at 11:43 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

US Warship targeted by missile

The headlines I'm seeing are rather misleading. The "missile" being talked about is the Russian-designed Katyusha rocket.

0011_isrleb2.jpg

It's not insignificant, but as weapons go it's not very large either. They are unguided, medium-range weapons (~12 miles), perfect for harrassment and interdiction fire (the Russians load them onto truck-mounted launchers and fire them in salvos of five to twenty or more.

They can be purchased on the black market for about a thousand dollars each.

They can carry chemical weapons.

To see the threat that these rockets pose to Isreal, here's a map that clearly shows the areas that are in range of Katyusha's fired from within the Palestinian areas.

It must be borne in mind that Hezbollah has acquired its own strategic deterrent capability against Israel by means of long-range Katyusha rockets which can hit targets from the northern border area of Israel almost down to Haifa Bay. -- Ha'aretz, 26 May, 14 July 2000

Cheap and simple weapons can be incredibly cost effective when their proper use is understood.

Posted by: Ted at 06:14 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Our lousy economy

With all but a handful of companies already reporting for the quarter, it turns out that three quarters of them met or exceeded their projected earnings.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Don't look down, but back is ok

Big thanks to John for pointing this site out.

In 1958 Alfred Hitchcock directed his masterpiece Vertigo, which was set in San Francisco. In 2003, this guy went around the city with a camera and took pictures from the same viewpoints as the movie. The photos are posted side by side, so you can see the changes that have happened in 44 years.

I love the internet for sites like this.

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

August 18, 2005

Snotty, but fun!

From IMDB.com:

Premiere magazine just released their list of the "Top 20 Most Overrated Movies of All Time" -- which of them is the most overrated?

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey

  • A Beautiful Mind

  • American Beauty

  • An American in Paris

  • Chariots of Fire

  • Chicago

  • Clerks

  • Easy Rider

  • Fantasia

  • Field of Dreams

  • Forrest Gump

  • Gone with the Wind

  • Good Will Hunting

  • Jules & Jim

  • Moonstruck

  • Monster's Ball

  • Mystic River

  • Nashville

  • The Red Shoes

  • The Wizard of Oz

I'd be interested to hear your take on this.

Posted by: Ted at 07:40 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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