March 02, 2004

Captain's Rock, Stardate 2168 BC

Stone Trek.

Posted by: Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (34) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Ig Nobel Prize

Awarded annually, according to the official site:

The winners have all done things that first make people LAUGH, then make them THINK.

Some of my favorites (go to the link above for full credits and cites):

Physics, 2003 - "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces."

This one's from Australia. Is anyone surprised? Montana residents put your hands down.

Biology, 2003 - for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck.

You really find out who your friends are.

Physics, 2002 - University of Munich, for demonstrating that beer froth obeys the mathematical Law of Exponential Decay.

More beer research, now this is something I can support.

Astrophysics, 2001 - a televangelist and staff, who for their discovery that black holes fulfill all the technical requirements to be the location of Hell.

So does Sunday morning television programming.

Peace, 2000 - The British Royal Navy, for ordering its sailors to stop using live cannon shells, and to instead just shout "Bang!"

As opposed to the more aggressive "Boom!"

Chemistry, 1999 - a detective in Japan, for his involvement with S-Check, an infidelity detection spray that wives can apply to their husbands' underwear.

The thrifty version is called superglue.

Peace, 1999 - a South African design for an automobile burglar alarm consisting of a detection circuit and a flamethrower.

I've barely scratched the surface here, go check 'em out. Science doesn't have to be boring, and stuff like this certainly makes me think... about committal papers.

Posted by: Ted at 04:50 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

March 01, 2004

I should've mentioned this before

Pixy is hosting this week's Bestofme Symphony. One of my old posts is in there, something ghostwritten from my thoughtful and serious side. Guaranteed to make you think of pod people.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 PM | Comments (33) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Maybe he'd adopt me

Like someone said in the comments, this guy is every 10 year old's dream dad.

Posted by: Ted at 02:33 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Uncanny

I took the 'Peanuts' quiz (found all over).

( results in the extended entry)

Posted by: Ted at 11:42 AM | Comments (42) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 I'm Snoopy! Apparently he's a Gemini... ;-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at March 01, 2004 03:52 PM (adijG)

2 I'm Snoopy too. Gotta be the Gemini thing.

Posted by: Dawn at March 01, 2004 06:05 PM (Q0xHi)

3 I expected to be Linus, but came up Shroeder. Must have been the music thang.
Oh... Gemini here, too.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 02, 2004 01:31 AM (CthYa)

4 I'm Rerun!

Posted by: Tink at March 02, 2004 09:47 PM (vBx7A)

5 Good Grief.

I'm Charlie Brown.

Posted by: Alan E Brain at March 04, 2004 09:19 PM (T518G)

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Investment Advice

Thanks to Stevie over at Caught in the XFire. Follow her plan, get a better return than you would with some so-called 'blue chip' stocks, and - beauty - even if you don't, you won't care!

Posted by: Ted at 08:35 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Air Force Blue

Someone asked in the comments here if I ever felt 'unloved' by the other branches of the service since I was Air Force. There are definite rivalries going on, but for the most part there's also a lot of respect once you get past the lowest ranks.

Of course, there were jokes...

"Lancer 1 to Tower, time check please."

"Tower to Lancer 1, branch of service please."

"Lancer 1 to Tower, repeat last. Over."

"Tower to Lancer 1, branch of service please."

"Lancer 1 to Tower, what difference does that make? Over.

"Tower to Lancer 1, if you're Navy, then it's 1500 hours. If you're Air Force, it's 3 o'clock, and if you're Army, then the big hand is on the three and the little hand is on the 12."

I once ticked off a retired Marine when I told him that if God had intended Marines to fly, he would have made them smart enough to join the Air Force.

Actually, the Air Force enlisted do believe they're at the top of the military food chain. Think about it. In the Army, the officers say "There's the enemy, go get him." In the Navy, it's "There's the enemy, let's go get him." But in the Air Force the enlisted ready the aircraft, help strap the officer in, then salute and say "Go get 'em, Sir."

Aim high.

Posted by: Ted at 08:14 AM | Comments (51) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 I heard a good one once:

One reason the Armed Services have trouble operating jointly is that they have very different meanings for the same terms.
The Joint Chiefs once told the Navy to "secure a building," to which they responded by turning off the lights and locking the doors.
The Joint Chiefs then instructed Army personnel to "secure the building," and they occupied the building so no one could enter.
Upon receiving the exact same order, the Marines assaulted the building, captured it, and set up defences with suppressive fire and amphibious assault vehicals, established reconnaissance and communications channels, and prepared for close hand-to-hand combat if the situation arose.
But the Air Force, on the other hand, acted most swiftly on the command, and took out a three-year lease with an option to buy.

Posted by: Sarah at March 01, 2004 09:35 AM (T7JR7)

2 LOL Sarah!
And, yep, we Air Force enlistees definately felt like we were at the top of the military branches' food chain; if, for no other reason, we were the ones who said "no" the Army and actually had the military seek us out. That was clue enough!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 02, 2004 01:43 AM (CthYa)

3 Wait, I didn't say that right. We were the one's who ssid "no" and actually sought the military out! yeah, that's what I meant...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 02, 2004 01:45 AM (CthYa)

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Who was that band?

Ultimate Band List is a site with tons of information and links to official band website and fansites. It includes concert information, promoter and venue links, e-zine's and much more.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (32) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 29, 2004

Movie Review worth reading, because it's somewhere else

Over at Who Tends the Fires, Ironbear reviews a Jackie Chan movie. It ain't pretty, but the review is fun and the comments are great!

Posted by: Ted at 11:49 AM | Comments (37) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

1 Heya ted, thanks. Glad you enoy my occassional irreverant trips into filmdom. ;]

Someone has to do it, and we can't expect Mr. Cranky to see every film and survive...

Posted by: Ironbear at February 29, 2004 06:51 PM (4Tr+k)

2 I was gonna thank you for the linkage, but I see Ironbear beat me to it!

Heck, I'll thank ya anyways: THANKS! :-)

Discussion is continuing, if you wanna pop on over. Feel free to join in, too!

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at February 29, 2004 08:09 PM (FyB1G)

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Welcome back

Two Nervous Dogs has returned. I tried working in some sort of crotch-sniffing joke, but it wasn't working. Go read, she's funny!

Thanks to Tim at Backstage for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:09 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 28, 2004

A couple of Munuvian (and other) notes

Cherry posts a friday joke each week (as does Tiger). Always good for a chuckle, but this one really had me laughing. If I ever meet these guys, I'll buy them a tank of petrol.

Spring is in the air. Daffodils are starting to show, birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and Munuvians are meeting for beer, pizza and trivia. That's right, fellow Munuvians Tuning Spork and Stephen are taking your questions, which will be asked and answered in the First Annual Fairfield County Munuvian Blogger Trivia Invitational. A barbed-wire cage match was considered, but we're an amiable bunch in Munuviana.

Drop in and say hello to Sarah. Her husband was just deployed overseas for a year.

Also, brand new Munuvian Ilyka Damen hasn't quite moved in yet, but soon, very soon. I'm looking forward to it.

Munuviana. In some obscure and lost language that had to have meant "concentrated goodness".

Posted by: Ted at 11:35 AM | Comments (37) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Mookie-free weekend

Mookie is at her best friend's house for the weekend, a couple of counties south of here. They're going to a Junior ROTC Military Ball, and she won't be home until Sunday. Not that that leaves us child-free, because oldest daughter Robyn made it home from Michigan yesterday afternoon.

We've raised a couple of chatterboxes. Sheesh.

I've been sitting here thinking about this house we live in. Fourteen years now. It's the only house Mookie remembers.

Tonight we signed the contract to have new windows and back door installed. I have no doubt that they'll pay for themselves in a year or two, but still, it's a lot of money. We heard from a neighbor that a house down the street sold for an obscene price, which I love to hear. The slumlord has been fixing up the house next door and supposedly he's selling too. Good deal, if it's true.

It's after midnight, the ladies are long in bed, and Freddy vs. Jason just finished on the DVD. No review coming for this one because I'm not a big gore fan. A friend lent it to me so I'm watching it. It's not a bad movie for the slasher genre, but it's not something I'd normally watch.

I also have the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre to watch this weekend (much more to my taste). Expect a review of this along with a comparison with the recent remake when it's released in the near future.

Posted by: Ted at 12:43 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 27, 2004

Just lay off the pretzels, ok?

Three lightweight presidentially themed movies I enjoy, especially during this political season:

Dave

The American President

My Fellow Americans

Posted by: Ted at 04:18 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Sentenced to hang

The leader of the Japanese cult that used Sarin gas in an attack on the Tokyo subway system got the death penalty today. Appeals are expected to last another decade.

Posted by: Ted at 08:08 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I Got A Gal In Kalamazoo

Oldest daughter is coming home from college for a week. Dad's doing a happy dance. Lansing might be closer, but that city never had a song nearly as fun written about it.

Posted by: Ted at 06:52 AM | Comments (32) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

It's probably just me, matey. Arrrgh!

I finally got to watch the rest of Pirates of the Carribean last night. Good movie, but am I the only one who thought Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) sounded an awful lot like Arthur (Dudley Moore) in the movie?

Posted by: Ted at 05:28 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

A little competition

It's a contest called Miniature City, and the idea is to photoshop an image to show what the world would be like if you were tiny.

Thanks to Cindy of Squipper and Al of Fulton Chain for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:25 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 26, 2004

I'll never gripe about screw-tops on wine ever again

The recipe for prison hootch, Pruno. I had tears in my eyes after reading this, it's that funny. If you do decide to try this, please let me know how it comes out.

Thanks to Blackfive for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 11:49 AM | Comments (36) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Art

That’s a tiny title for a subject as big as the universe. I have the pleasure of having several real artists as co-workers. I’m not talking about making-a-living-at-it artists, but each of them, in their own way, considers themselves an artist, and I agree with them. These are guys who work for a living. Some artists live for art, but like everyone else, most artists know that it’s kinda nice to have a roof over one’s head, and you do what needs doing to pay the rent. It makes for interesting conversations.

What got me to thinking about this subject is that a co-worker, Kyle, mentioned that the Hirschhorn Museum is having an event this weekend called 24 Hour Psycho. It’s kind of an odd one, and we got to discussing aspects of it. Briefly, an artist has stretched the Hitchcock classic into a full 24-hour event, apparently by viewing most of the movie in slow motion. There’s more to it of course (there’d better be), but that’s the gist of it. My attitude is that I’d love to be able to say I saw it, without actually inflicting myself with the performance, because it sounds deadly dull.

Posted by: Ted at 10:50 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Beautiful photography

Mostly images of the American Southwest, in black and white.

Posted by: Ted at 10:44 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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