On Religion

Religion is not a topic I've discussed here before, but I thought I might tackle it today, as it will explain why I didn't post anything yesterday.

I am a member in good standing (indeed, a lay preacher) of the Invisible Pink Hello Cthulhu Church of Last Thursday.

We of the IPHCCoLT have only a few articles of faith, but we hold to them firmly.

1. The Lord of All is Cthulhu the Great and Powerful.
2. Notwithstanding His* exulted position, He** is small and cute and will feature in a Genuine Licensed Range of Products to be released by Sanrio starting 2004.
3. He** is also both pink and invisible.
4. Cthulhu the G&P, despite being small and cute, will eat us all. Church members will not be exempted from the Apocalypse, however, they will be eligible for reserved seating.
5. The Universe was created last Thursday, with all that is in it, including ourselves, our memories, and the IPHCCoLT.
6. For this reason, we hold Thursdays as sacred, and will do as little work as possible thereon.

All praise Cthulhu the G&P, and may He** eat us last!

* Or Its.
** Or It.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 11:19 AM

Comments

1 You know, of course, that in America, while still invisible, Cthulhu is blue....

Posted by: Susie at November 28, 2003 12:27 PM (0+cMc)

2 Sacrilege!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 28, 2003 02:33 PM (LBXBY)

3 Damn, that makes as much sense as most religion out there.

Posted by: Ted at November 28, 2003 10:42 PM (Qj620)

4 Sheesh! Don't you know
that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?

Posted by: Kathy K at November 29, 2003 12:42 AM (TuUZm)

5 That's one hell of a brand engineering team, if they can make toys out of an invisible, pink Cthulhu.

Posted by: Mitch H. at November 29, 2003 12:52 AM (/fXAT)

6 Mitch - Sanrio managed to build an entire industry out of a mouthless cat. I'm sure they can do the job with Cthulhu the G&P...

Particularly since the Church gets 15%.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 29, 2003 01:25 AM (jtW2s)

7 Kathy - Hmm. The IPHCCoLT is considering the adoption of some Discordian teachings in order to, uh, broaden our curriculum. I particularly like this:

GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 29, 2003 01:28 AM (jtW2s)

8 Skip, skip, skip to Cthulu...

Posted by: triticale at November 29, 2003 02:22 AM (o+iAl)

9 What Would Cthulhu Do?

In case of Cthulhu this car will be empty

My parents summoned Cthulhu and all I got was this shredded and blood-soaked t-shirt

(Cafe Press, here I come...)

Posted by: Ted at November 29, 2003 06:07 AM (Qj620)

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